Teeny tiny confession :)

Our long car rides to and from Indiana lately have been great opportunities for us to talk about everything. Brad mentioned something about him that I really had never known before and it just sent my mind in all sorts of different directions. The next thing I asked him after that was 'do you really not remember me from Rob and Amy's wedding?'. He said no and I continued to look at the window; he then turned the question back at me. I waited a few moments then looked at him and did my honest 'what?' cluing him into the answer. Backstory here is that we started dating in 2007 but originally met in 2003 at a wedding of two mutual friends. Right after we started dating Amy asked if we remembered each other becaue we had indeed danced together that night. Brad had no clue of such a memory and said no and I went with that as well. Well, I LIED. I hate admitting that because I feel so awful especially since I let it go so long. No one really understands why I did it and I don't know why I finally admitted the truth either. Yes, I do remember Brad from that wedding. I remember what he looked like, I remember when he asked and what I thought, I remember what we talked about and I remember the moment I knew this would go nowhere-when he asked how old I was! I was 20 and in college and he was 28 and living in Indiana so it wasn't meant to be. I remember that being the first time in my life I really wished I was older; I felt disappointed for some reason. I didn't remember his name though but when Amy mentioned that he had been in the wedding I had a feeling it was him and then when I found my copy of the wedding video it was confirmed. I was excited but nervous. What if when he finally saw me in person it sparked a memory and what if it wasn't good? But, he didn't remember me at all. Before that and after we started dating I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it or to say it was a sign or anything and put pressure on either one of us. And, he obviously didn't remember and I didn't want to pressure him or make him try to remember if he couldn't. But, I do remember that first meeting and being embarrassed about not having shoes on...anyone remember how hot it was?...I had taken my nylons off and had to dance with him in my little Isotoner satin slippers. I also remember that for some reason that wasn't the last time he was on my mind. I can remember going back to campus that fall and I would think of that guy I danced with once or twice. I didn't know why I kept thinking of him but I guess I do now. So forgive me for withholding this information and hopefully no one thinks I'm nuts :) Whew, I feel much better!